


Bound in Trust

by Kalla_Moonshado



Series: Conspiracy of Ravens [7]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Coming Untouched, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Master/Apprentice Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, emotional breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:50:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalla_Moonshado/pseuds/Kalla_Moonshado
Summary: In order to stay sane and continue what he must, Khadgar finds comfort in Medivh.This is one such occasion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadowPhoenixRider](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowPhoenixRider/gifts).



> For SPR – because Khadgar is made to be bound and dominated.

I.

The carpet beneath Khadgar’s knees was plush, if a bit threadbare. He shifted on it impatiently, trying to ease the pressure against his kneecaps. The next line of silk rope slid across his skin as he shifted, and a hand brushed his shoulder as his arms were bound behind him. His position was comfortable, if slightly strained at his shoulders.

The dark silk across his eyes shifted slightly as an arm brushed across the knot behind his head, and he tilted his head so it wouldn’t come free.

He felt the end of the rope tucked in at his elbow, and the hand on his shoulder lifted. He could hear movement, and the hand returned, touching his shoulder, then gliding down his back.  One ankle was lifted as another line of silk was slid under it. It was repeated to his other ankle.  Three rotations to each ankle, alternating, and then they were tugged up as his arms were tugged down, and he was forced to lean back just a little, as ankles and wrists were bound together.

“Too uncomfortable?”

“No, Master.”

The rope was tucked.

“No pinching? Discomfort?”

Khadgar shifted, stretching a little in the bonds. “No, nothing’s too tight, either, Master.”

“Good.”

Something soft brushed against Khadgar’s bare skin, sliding along his stomach and making him twitch. It was light enough to almost tickle, firm enough to make his breath hitch. The touch brushed upwards to his chest, and over a nipple. Khadgar jumped slightly, unable to move far. The touch moved to the other, brushing the firm flesh, and then the touch lifted, to be replaced by gentle fingertips. And then a sharp pinch to the right, then the left.

Khadgar gasped, then let out a soft moan as the pinches were adjusted and the clamps left in place.

“So eager. I never would have expected you to want something like this.”

“I was young when I dreamed of this, Master.”

“And now?”

“My view has not changed, Master.”

A warm chuckle came from Khadgar’s right, and a hand brushed across his shoulders, and a finger hooked into the collar around his throat and tugged. “Is that why you wear this? A reminder of a fantasy?”

“I-I never thought of it that way, Master.”

“I never bound you, and yet you bound yourself.” Another gentle tug, and the hand moved down, trailing fingertips to one nipple, feather touching the tip of it. Khadgar gasped again. “So sensitive,” came the amused voice again.

“Yes, Master.”

The fingertips slid down his chest, along his stomach, down his abdomen. Khadgar made a noise that was at once pleading and hungry, but the fingertips turned at the last moment and slid over his hip and down his thigh. “Patience, Young Trust.”

Another hitch in Khadgar’s breathing, and it was a few heartbeats before he could answer. “Yes, Master.”

The fingertips lifted when they reached his knee, then moved to the other side to reverse the trail. Khadgar shivered and made another soft noise. The fingertips brushed over his ignored nipple, and Khadgar arched.

“Absolutely exquisite,” Medivh all but purred, against Khadgar’s ear. “I don’t think in all our time together, I’ve ever seen you so… openly excited.” He reached up to tug at the front of the collar, gently. “But, I may understand. You are bound. Sightless.” His lips brushed Khadgar’s cheek, and Khadgar tilted his head. There was another tug at the collar and he turned his head back, blushing. “And you give up your control and responsibilities and lay yourself bare.” The words were whispered against Khadgar’s lips, and it took all of Khadgar’s will not to lean forward to kiss the lips against his own. He instead made another soft noise, his breath dropped in a swift exhale through his nose.

There was a shift, and Khadgar felt a leg brush his as Medivh knelt in front of him, finger still hooked in the front of his collar, lips still against his. He fought to remain as he was, especially when the lips brushed his in invitation. He took the invitation, but remained as he was, his lips and tongue the only things moving.

Medivh drew back, chuckling as Khadgar leaned forward to chase the touch. There was a sudden touch against his shaft, and Khadgar jumped with a soft surprised noise. “I’ve never seen you like this,” Medivh murmured. “Does the very idea of this arouse you so?”

“Y-yes, Master.”

“Tell me what you want,” Medivh invited.

Being unable to see seemed to make Khadgar bolder than he may have been otherwise. He licked his lips, then murmured, “I want you, Master. I want you to touch me. I want you to talk to me. I w-want you t-to…” he trailed off, and there was a tug at his collar. His cock twitched, and the rest of his answer came out in a rush. “I want you to make me come so hard I forget who I am.”

“You want to forget, Young Trust?” Medivh murmured.

“Yes,” Khadgar breathed. “Yes, Master.”

Khadgar could feel the warmth as Medivh leaned closer to run his tongue along the shell of his ear. He shivered, but managed not to speak. “Then listen, and listen well, Young Trust.” Another feather-touch against his cock, following the vein from base to head. “I am not going to touch you in the end.” Khadgar whimpered, the sound drawing a  chuckle from Medivh. “I am going to weaken you, before I take you into the abyss, and I ask you to trust me.” The touch returned, firmer; Medivh’s palm, open and stroking bluntly. “It will be my voice and memory that takes you over the edge. It will be the knowledge that you incense me. It will be the need you feel. And if you manage to do as I ask, I promise a reward to make your concentration worth it.” His hand sped up a little, his fingers curling around the shaft. “You will warn me, when I bring you to the edge,” he ordered, his voice velvet over steel.

“Y-yes, M-master,” Khadgar whispered, his hips shifting restlessly, his arms tugging at the restraints.

For several moments, there was quiet, other than Khadgar’s rapid breathing, the tiny noises he made as he struggled against his bonds, and the susurration of skin against skin. The tiny noises resolved into quiet moans, and then into needy murmurs.

Medivh kept his hand’s movements steady, his breathing as even as he could keep it, its warmth brushing over Khadgar’s cheek. He said nothing, but watched Khadgar’s reactions carefully, prepared to stop if Khadgar did not speak in time.

“Med-M-Master, I’m… close. Please…” Khadgar’s voice shattered the quiet, and Medivh immediately drew his hand away.

“Good,” he murmured, brushing his lips against Khadgar’s cheek, ignoring the pained whine and the lift of the man’s hips, chasing the touch. “So beautiful,” Medivh purred. “Weeping and so ready.” His hand brushed against Khadgar’s shoulder; a reminder that he wasn’t far. “You’re trembling, Young Trust. Have I stopped too soon?”

Khadgar shook his head. “N-no, Master. I-if you had not s-stopped I… I…”

“Hmm.” Medivh leaned back, his fingertips brushing the inside of Khadgar’s thigh. “Perhaps you are right.”  He leaned forward again so his breath whispered against Khadgar’s skin again. “Now, then. Perhaps we can find out just how close you are.”

Khadgar made a soft, pleading noise, but did not dare speak.

“I wish you could see yourself, right now,” Medivh murmured. “ _Arch_ mage indeed. Straining and beautiful, and,” the fingertips trailed across Khadgar’s thigh and the hand cupped the balls beside it. “Full, swollen and,” a chuckle as the orbs lifted slightly, “wanting.”

Khadgar tried to lean back, and made another frustrated noise. “Y-yes, Master,” he answered as the silence stretched. He either needed more of that touch – or less.

“Uncomfortable?” Medivh’s voice was amused now.

“N-no, Master. Just… Frustrated.”

“Hmm. Well, perhaps we can change that. You’re starting to twitch, and that’s always a good sign. You’re definitely a little closer, then.” Khadgar would have glared at Medivh if he could see, but he could only shift his weight around the ropes binding him as Medivh spoke. “Do you need something, Young Trust?”

“Yes, Master,” Khadgar gasped out.

“What might that be?”

Khadgar tried to glare through the blindfold in the direction Medivh’s voice was coming from but it achieved nothing.

“Well, Young Trust?” Medivh insisted.

Khadgar made a small noise of frustration. “I n-need t-to…” He trailed off, his blush spreading down his chest. He shuddered, unable to complete his plea.

“Need to…?” Medivh grinned.

“Please, Master… let me…” Khadgar bit his lip, making another noise of frustration.

“Let you what?” Medivh asked innocently, his hand letting go of the other mage’s balls and trailing a fingertip along his thigh.

Khadgar tried to arch into the touch, but Medivh lifted his hand away. He turned his head to one side and lowered it. “M-master,” he begged, “please… I’ll do anything you ask…”

“Answer my question then,” Medivh shot back, trailing the fingertip along Khadgar’s thigh again, straying just shy of what Khadgar _wanted_ him to touch. “It’s not so difficult,” he continued in a low murmur. “You’re capable of speaking. You _know_ what you want, and you’re so close to getting it whether I do much of anything or not.” His voice dropped a little lower as his fingertip prodded gently at Khadgar’s stomach. “You’ve done it before, after all. Or don’t you remember having your fingers stretching me as I told you how _hot_ it was and how much I _wanted_ you? You were trembling with it, and it only took a few words before you just _couldn’t_ hold it back. And it didn’t finish you – it _incensed_ you.”

Khadgar arched again, straining against the bonds holding his arms and ankles, the noise he made now was keening, and Medivh merely chuckled at him. “Master, _please_ …”

“Please what?” Medivh whispered.

Khadgar twisted against the bindings, and finally gave in. “ _Please_ , Master, _please_ let me come, _please_ , I – I can’t _take_ this any longer!”

He heard Medivh shift closer, felt a leg come into contact with his own. “I never said you couldn’t,” Medivh pointed out, softly. “Concentrate, Young Trust. You can’t see me, but you can hear me.” Khadgar made another keening cry that might have tried to be another plea. Medivh ignored it. “I told you I wasn’t going to touch you in the end. I told you that you would get there by the sound of my voice and memory.”

“Y-yes Master,” Khadgar whispered, still struggling, though it seemed only token now.

“Think of the first time, then. That moment I first touched you; a forbidden fruit that I could not resist, not after you told me your feelings were beyond skin deep,” Medivh murmured, his tone even. “The way you shivered as I worked my hand under your clothing and found skin. The way you cried out, then begged me not to stop.” Medivh shifted closer to whisper against Khadgar’s ear. “You were never touched. You’d never brought yourself to completion. From that moment, my Young Trust, you were _mine_ and mine alone.” He paused, listening to Khadgar’s moan. “It was _my_ hand that brought those cries. _My_ hand that made you tremble, and when I took you it was everything I had to be careful with you.” Khadgar made another, louder noise, one of warning and pleading combined. “And your cries were music to me. Your cries are music to me now, even though your voice is deeper, you can still make me weak with them.  And now look at you, shaking, bound and—“

Khadgar screamed, and Medivh gasped, as warm, wet heat spread between them. Medivh shivered, and breathed his last words. “Shaking. Bound. _Mine_.”

Khadgar sobbed, shivering as Medivh nuzzled his neck, arms sliding around him. “It’s all right. I have you,” he soothed. “Well done, Young Trust.” Medivh leaned up and gently kissed away the tears that had spilled down the Archmage’s cheeks, his hands moving to untie the ropes binding him. “Be still, and I’ll take these off, hm?”

“Th-thank you, Master,” Khadgar whispered.

Medivh smiled; it could have been an echo from the past, other than the bindings, and that, of course, Khadgar was thirty years older. Once the ropes were undone, Medivh shifted back again to lift the clamps away. “Relax,” he said softly.

Khadgar let his arms fall to his sides gratefully. “Thank you, Master,” he murmured again, his breathing still uneven.

“Are you still with me, Khadgar?”

“I am. I haven’t tapped out yet, Medivh.”

Medivh nodded, then realized Khadgar couldn’t see him.  He reached out and lifted the blindfold, meeting the blue eyes as they adjusted. “You’re sure.” Khadgar nodded. “All right. Stay, then. I’ll get us cleaned up, and then, as I promised, there was indeed a reward at stake.”

“Yes, Master,” Khadgar replied, watching as Medivh got to his feet and vanished. He sighed, shaking out his arms a little, shifting on his knees and stretching muscles that had been held still for a little too long. Medivh returned with a damp cloth, and with touch alone had Khadgar stretch out so he could clean him.

“Stand up for me,” Medivh ordered.

“I may need help, Master,” Khadgar said softly. “I fear my legs are asleep.”

Medivh tutted softly, draping the damp cloth over a chair, then returned to help Khadgar to his feet. “You’ll need those…” He pushed Khadgar into the chair. “Rest, then. We should discuss the next part of this, Khadgar.”

Khadgar relaxed completely, the use of his name indicating they were paused from the Game. “Light, Med, I had no idea you…”

“Oh I’d thought of so much to do to you when you agreed to this… Though I admit, I wasn’t sure you were going to make it. I kept expecting you to safeword out.” Medivh waved a hand over the table, two mugs appearing there. He handed one to Khadgar, who was still rubbing his wrists. Khadgar took the mug with a nod of thanks and sipped the light watered wine. “You had me worried.”

“It came on unexpectedly there at the end,” Khadgar admitted as Medivh sipped from his own mug. “It was memory that did it. I remember that day well. I … I expected it to go very differently. I thought you would just.. pat me on the shoulder and leave me… And I. Well. I figure I could be packed and gone before you got angry with me for what I’d said.”

Medivh sighed, pulling a second chair over with his foot and settling in front of Khadgar. “The damage was already done by then,” he said softly. “Hearing those words, so open and… well. Raw. It was like I was hearing myself.” He set his mug down and reached out to brush Khadgar’s cheek. “I pushed you. I pushed you hard, and until that night I kept you at a distance because if I did not, I would have done the unthinkable. At least I thought so. And when those words came pouring out of you, I suddenly realized why you always stayed close when I napped, or tried so very hard.”

Khadgar drained half his mug, then licked his lips nervously. “I was scared,” he said finally.

“You were right to be. But…” Medivh drained his mug, sighing as he set it back down. “Without you by my side, I was capable of doing horrific things. I’d been doing horrific things, even right under your nose, but I fought, harder, than I could have by myself. It might have been you next. You _were_ next. If you had not been warded…”

Khadgar drained his mug and set it down. “That day I called that vision, you mean.” He sighed. “You fought me. I could feel it.”

“And you were right, it was only a matter of time until I got through, and I could see the fight in your eyes. While Sargeras was busy trying to claw through the wards, I … _I_ was bursting with pride. You were holding off a demonic Titan with the power of the Guardian behind him.”

“I… I never said this, Med… but I’m… I’m sorry. I felt betrayed – that you had just been using me all along. It wasn’t until we met again that… that I…”

Medivh kissed Khadgar’s forehead. “I tried to tell you before I… But I just couldn’t get the words out. There just …wasn’t time.”

Khadgar reached out and pulled Medivh against him. “I think I knew. It was in your eyes. But I was in shock… I just… I’d just…”

“I know, Khadgar. I know. The cold fury I saw in your eyes after that curse took you… You were my salvation.”

“And now,” Khadgar said softly, “you are mine. Without you I could never keep doing what I’m doing.”

Medivh tried to laugh, but didn’t quite make it. “You could. It would just wear you down so that you self-destructed, went mad, or destroyed everything.”

“But I haven’t, because I have you to anchor me. I can retreat here, and for a while, all there is for me is the love between us. Quiet evenings, or .. spent like this in … other activities.” Khadgar’s arms tightened for a moment before he let Medivh go.

Medivh kissed Khadgar gently before settling back in his chair. “If I can aid the Guardian, it is my duty to do so,” he chuckled. “If I can aid my Young Trust, my love, and my reason for staying, then it is all worthwhile.”

“I… I never wanted…”

“You did. You said so yourself, Khadgar. You dreamed of it. Thought about it. Desired it. And declined it. Yet you took the burdens of all of Azeroth on your shoulders as though you were. And I meant it, and can never say it enough – it is your heart, your courage, and your actions that make you Guardian. You surpassed me in so many ways, and you have all the power and skill you need.” Medivh sighed. “I hid myself away because of the darkness I carried. You carry yourself in the open and do more than you should. When you stop coming here, to me, I will know it is not because you have stopped loving me.”

Khadgar swallowed, opened his mouth, closed it, then shook his head. “Medivh I… never expected…”

“That happens a lot. But at least now you’re living instead of letting it control you.”

Khadgar sighed. “I … I didn’t want to. For years, I didn’t want to. It hurt.” He drew a shuddering breath. “It hurt so much that… that…”

Medivh stood up, and pulled Khadgar up with him. “This room isn’t the place for this,” he said softly, leading him out and into Medivh’s bedroom.  He lifted a wrap-robe from the foot of the bed and pulled it around Khadgar’s shoulders, then took the other to pull around his own. He pushed Khadgar down onto the bed, then curled up beside him, gently pulling the younger mage against him.

Khadgar was shaking. He pulled the robe on properly, but didn’t bother belting it. He slid an arm around Medivh’s back. “You had… changed. I tried… I tried so hard, and you pushed me away. Snapped at me more often, pushed my studies harder. It was as though we’d never…”

Medivh sighed. “I know, and it… it was the hardest thing I ever did. It… he… wanted _you_. He tried so hard, that last night, to reach out through me to get to you. You were a distraction. You were my Light, Khadgar, and he would do anything to destroy anything that distracted me or gave me hope of escape. I couldn’t… I wouldn’t let him have you. It was better, the way things happened. I only wish I could have managed my last words…”

Khadgar blinked. “You did…”

“My last words to you, were ‘I love you’. I just… there wasn’t time left.. but I had to get out that … I was still… there. That it was me fighting. That you freed me from…”

“And then, when you were on the balcony?” Khadgar asked, his voice trembling.

“I couldn’t say much. I wasn’t sure how much time we had. But I couldn’t give you false hope,” Medivh sighed. “Else I would have said more. When I returned, I could not feel you. I sent out my warnings. Gave my guidance. And then I returned here to pass into the shadows of Legend, thinking you were beyond me, that you had passed into the shadows of death’s embrace. And you returned, fought that dreadlord and left before I could claw my way back from the shadows. And then you came back, and you _called_. And I was waiting. When I saw you approach with one of your chosen champions, I tried to get back to you, but the tower was twisting itself apart, even then.”

“Is that why you corrupted my wards?” Medivh nodded. “I … I’m … I didn’t know.”

“You weren’t meant to. But you got through, and found what you needed… and then you came back again. I would not hide any longer. I would have said more had you been alone, but you were not. And when you left I … I thought you would leave Karazhan, me, and the memories behind forever.  Until you returned, and I answered the unspoken call as you worked. I watched until I was certain you were alone. It was so like watching you, years before.” Medivh touched his lips to Khadgar’s forehead. “I would not be denied again.”

“I was dead inside for years. But others needed me. I buried everything, disguised it as mourning my beloved mentor and … well, only real friend I’d had for a long time. I wondered about the time you stood on that balcony, talking to me. When did that happen?” Khadgar looked up at Medivh, leaning against him carefully.

“It… it was when I could not feel you here,” Medivh sighed.

“While I was on what was left of Draenor, then,” Khadgar murmured thoughtfully, then swore bitterly. “I was so much younger then.” He sighed. “You know, I went across that portal expecting to die there.” He paused, then dropped his gaze. “I… honestly didn’t care if I did, at the time.”

“Khadgar!”

“No, Med, I’m serious. It didn’t matter to me if I lived or died. But it … it mattered to others. I guess, even then, I was a protector.” Khadgar looked up again. “Are Guardians born to it? I mean – I know _you_ were, but that’s not what I mean.”

“The desire to protect, you mean, then?” Medivh murmured. Khadgar nodded. “In a way yes. It is the one thing I could not teach you, really. When you were sent to me, a troublesome ‘child’, too curious for your own good and a spy of the Kirin Tor’s own ranks.” He brushed another kiss to Khadgar’s temple. “And then you proved to me that I could trust you with every secret I kept, and it was then that I saw you protecting me – against one of my own dearest friends.”

Khadgar was quiet for a long time. “The moment I stepped into Karazhan, my loyalties were to you,” he said at last. “My instructors demanded I send them information you kept, but until you granted your permission for any of it, I would not send anything to them that you would not want them to have.”

“Exactly. You protected _me._ And it was in that moment that I knew that when your loyalty was given, it was given in whole. Your loyalty now is to Azeroth and her people, but you have learned to keep your secrets in doing so. The resources at your command are vast, and even now you expand them.” Medivh gently shifted to look at Khadgar fully, pushing him away to look at him from arm’s length. “Which is why you are here, now.”

“You are more than just a ‘resource’, Medivh. I love you. I’m here because I love you.”

“But don’t you see? It is that which holds you together when you may otherwise have torn yourself asunder, trying to do more than you could. You are here to leave Khadgar of the Kirin Tor, Guardian of Azeroth behind. You are here to forget. You are here so you can just be Khadgar, my Young Trust, and to bleed out your heartsickness in a place where no one else may reach, to someone who will never tell another soul, alive or dead.”

Khadgar was quiet again. His eyes blurred and he blinked. “And thus the circle closes,” he murmured. “And I trust you with my own secrets.”

Medivh did not answer in words, but in a soft kiss pressed tenderly against Khadgar’s trembling lips. A moment later, the first tears fell, and once they began, Khadgar found he could not stop them. Medivh pulled the younger mage against his chest, stroking his back gently. He said nothing, knowing Khadgar would speak when he was ready.

Khadgar hiccupped before he spoke, the words raw and to Medivh, felt as though they were infectious suppuration bleeding from a wound. “I _wanted_ to _die_. I felt nothing, _nothing_ , for Azeroth. I lived for _you_ , for _your_ sake, for _your_ teachings, for th-the love of knowledge, books and the only human who didn’t scorn me, the only person who saw me as m-more than a ch-child snooping where he didn’t belong.” He dissolved into sobs again, and when he could speak again, Medivh’s heart ached. “I didn’t see it in time. It was my fault – everything was my fault. And in the end I m-murdered you. And I longed to share that blade. I wanted to turn it on myself. I k-killed the only person who cared, the only person who l-loved me, even if you pushed me away. I _never_ stopped loving you, Medivh. Never once. My life _ended_ that day. I didn’t want to go on. I had no reason to.” He hiccupped again, and his voice turned hard, and cold as ice. “But he was still out there. He was still lying in wait. And I wanted to kill that … that thing that tore us apart. I lived for revenge. I lived to hunt Sargeras down to the ends of the universe and destroy him for what he’d done to you. And if I died along the way, I didn’t care. Once I was across that portal, no one would care what became of me. Azeroth would live on, and I was inconsequential.” He pulled away a little, a hand lifting to scrub at his cheeks. “I gave up,” he whispered. “I was there, and didn’t care, even when I felt the portal open again. I was accosted by so many, asking about who I was, and I almost told them all that I was no one.”  He sniffled, and Medivh handed him a handkerchief in silence.

Khadgar blew his nose, and scrubbed his eyes again, taking long, deep breaths to calm himself. “And then, someone said something about things happening in Karazhan.” He snorted with derisive laughter. “Karazhan, which I abandoned to its decline some twenty years previous, taking only books and memories with me. Karazhan, which stood without a steward and silent as it fell into shadows.” He shuddered as tears fell in silence. “A-and then I remembered the last time I saw you,” he whispered, his voice spent. “Standing on that balcony. I wondered if you had been there. I left the Outland, and returned to a Dalaran strange and only half-rebuilt, a lost old man among no one I knew. There were rumors of a Legion attack, before Dalaran’s fall. A rumor of a nameless Prophet, in the guise of a raven. I found nothing. And so I waited, surrounded in familiar but unfamiliar surroundings, lost my days in comfort of books and learning, and then I _felt_ the portal change. I heard the scouting reports. And I realized that the Legion had another way in.” He sighed. “Or, I had another chance to go after it. And I took it.”

Medivh blinked rapidly, unable to stop his own tears from falling, but unwilling to speak. The more he heard, the more he hurt, but he would not stop the flow. Khadgar was no longer shaking in the comforting circle of his arms, and his words began to calm. “So I went, and flung myself into the fray, into spellwork that probably should have destroyed me. I cursed my own ineffectiveness when Gul’dan escaped. And when the Legion set its sights on Azeroth again, I felt it.” He finally pulled away from Medivh and looked up at the former Guardian, his eyes dry and red. “Azeroth could not fall. Her people could not fail. And if, in its protection, I could avenge you and what we had, I would. For the first time in thirty years, I felt like I needed to _live_.” He shook his head. “I went to Karazhan for answers, and found what I thought was you. And when I found it was not you… I… It was as though you had just died again, blood on my hands as we sank to the floor and you… you…” He snarled, his hands clenched, white knuckled, into fists against Medivh’s chest. “I almost didn’t have the courage to come back. The memories were so strong, and I admitted more to my champion than I wanted. When I realized that the tower was full of demons, I… I had to do something. And then I felt it. I felt _you_. For the first time in thirty years, I felt warmth in a place that was empty, desolate. When I saw you I wasn’t sure you were real – and then you flew off, and I went after you. There was so much I wanted to say. So much I had buried for so many years and…” He shook his head. “The next time I returned, and found that you weren’t my imagination, that you were … you. I… I made a fool of myself.” He sighed and the tension drained from him at once. “And for the first time in thirty years I feared for my own life. For the first time in thirty years I was afraid, because I’d just found you again, and you weren’t a shade, or my imagination, or a dream.”

“Things worked out in the end,” Medivh offered softly. “And I offered you sanctuary.”

“Azeroth is in far more danger than I ever guessed,” Khadgar sighed, “and still I am bent on wanting Sargeras’ blood.” He pulled away from Medivh again, dabbing at his eyes. “I… I expect to give my life to do one or the other. And I’m afraid, Medivh. I don’t _want_ to give my life up, not when I still have you to come back to.”

Medivh sighed, reaching up and cupping Khadgar’s face in one hand. “And your loyalty?” he asked softly. Khadgar dropped his eyes. “Khadgar?”

“I am torn,” Khadgar said, simply.

“Do not be,” Medivh snapped. “Take my love with you where you go, but do not let your loyalty be torn. Not for me. Azeroth needs you more than I do.”

“I need you more than I do Azeroth,” Khadgar snapped back. “As much as I want to give, I am still asked more. I can only delegate so much, and no matter how confidant I am now, how strong, how powerful, I’m still just a mortal man, Medivh. I am drained to nothing again and again, and still I have more asked of me!”

Medivh sighed, pulling Khadgar back against him. Khadgar resisted, then with a sigh let himself be pulled and settled with his head on Medivh’s shoulder. “And that is why you are here,” he murmured. “To unburden yourself like this – because I understand the demands. Because I understand feeling torn.” He stroked the back of Khadgar’s head softly. “And all I can offer you is that unburdening, and a distraction and release from your self-induced charge. I can offer little advice or guidance, because you have that within you, and I have given you all the guidance I can. If… if this battle ends with your death,” his throat closed and he shuddered. “I understand. Sometimes self-sacrifice is all a Guardian can give, Khadgar. Just… I beg you, do not go _seeking_ death. Not to be released from your charge, no matter how tempting it is to lay the burdens at someone else’s feet and remove yourself from the pain. Keep coming to _me_. Here. Let me help you forget this entire mess, so you may return to it when you are unburdened and feel ready to rejoin the battle.”

Khadgar was quiet for a few moments, then lifted his head. “Then make me forget, Medivh. Make me forget everything. Bring me back to where there was nothing but you and me and the joy of exploration and discovery. Make me want to live again.” He offered a tenuous smile. “Besides,” he whispered. “I think you owe me a reward for earlier.”

“I do,” Medivh chuckled softly. “And we need to discuss that before we go back.” He pressed Khadgar’s head back against his shoulder. “Besides, I’m not done cuddling yet.”

Khadgar laughed, softly, though there was as slightly hysterical edge to it as his arms slid around Medivh’s back.

Medivh remained still, letting the laughter die away on its own. “I will always be here when you need me, Khadgar. Just remember that.”

Khadgar sighed. “I.. I will,” he replied, his voice unsteady. “And I, you, should you ever.”

Medivh touched a kiss to Khadgar’s neck, then shifted his hold. “Now then,” he murmured, his arms a little looser, one around Khadgar’s shoulders, the other around his waist. “What is it you wanted to be punished for?”

“Everything,” Khadgar replied instantly.

“Everything?” Medivh lifted an eyebrow and gently pushed Khadgar back to arm’s length. “Explain.”

Khadgar sighed and seemed unable to meet Medivh’s eyes. “Everything. Letting what happened to you happen without seeing it, for not seeing the trouble with the portal in time. For letting people die. For becoming lethargic. For retreating into myself. For everything that happened on Draenor. Letting good people die because of my incompetence. For letting Gul’dan escape. For not stopping him when he came here. For letting the Legion invade Azeroth. Again. For—“

“Enough!” Medivh cut him off, looking horrified. “Khadgar, you are not the only person responsible for—“

“Any of it? All of it? Most of it?” Khadgar shook his head. “I _am_ , Med. I am. I need the reminder that I cannot sit idly by and let people die again and again under my care.”

“And you say your loyalty is torn,” Medivh murmured. He shook his head. “Khadgar—“

“Please, Medivh.”

Medivh closed his eyes. “I… I’m not sure I can do what you ask of me this time.” He could feel Khadgar’s gaze, and he sighed. “I cannot, Khadgar. Not for the reasons you have listed.”

“Make something up then,” Khadgar whispered, pleadingly. “I will know what every lash is for, even if you say it’s something else.”

“No, I can’t do that.” Medivh shook his head. “Do not ask this of me, Khadgar.”

“Medivh,” Khadgar murmured. “I’m not asking.”

Medivh closed his eyes. “I cannot do this. Not for what you want me to do it for, Khadgar.” He pulled Khadgar against him. “Even if I make excuses, I cannot – _will not_ – have you thinking that any of it was your fault alone.”

“It was—“

“It was _not,”_ Medivh growled. He sighed, explosively. “Khadgar, listen to me, and _hear_ me.” He waited a moment until Khadgar nodded. “You are a human being. Just because things happen around you does not mean that you are responsible for them. You were my Light, my salvation, and wholly responsible for being the good man I am now.” He ran his fingers through Khadgar’s hair, watching the silver strands as they slid through his fingers. “You did everything asked of you and more in Stormwind. You continued your own education when I could not. You rose to the status of Archmage on your own by the age of twenty-two. You were, by then, a commander in your own right, and took it upon yourself to deal with dangers that no few would flee from. You underwent an expedition you knew you would not return from, and you went to it with your whole heart, and succeeded. You faced down things that even I would hesitate to. Your swift thinking and brilliant intelligence saved more than your own life time and time again. You strove to do the right thing when you returned from a lonely existence, and now stand on the Council of Six, and _lead_ _the Kirin Tor_. You weigh each and every move you make like the chess pieces you and I once commanded when you were seventeen. You made bold moves even then, and some of them even worked, but your calculations were seldom wrong, even when I threw things at you that were unfair and laid out cruel and horrible scenarios.”

Khadgar was quiet for a long moment. “But—“

“What about the lives lost? Things _happen_ , Khadgar.”

Khadgar drew a shuddering breath and let out a long sigh. “Then punish me for the things I did wrong. For not thinking before I acted, for the times I sent others to their deaths, knowing I did so. Make every stroke count for a life lost that I should have, could have saved. And for every time I tried to throw away my own life.” He drew back and looked up at Medivh. “Please. Make sure I _think_ before I… I act.”

Medivh sighed again. “I think I can handle punishment for trying to throw away your life. If you had…” He stared hard at Khadgar for a few moments, then shook his head, and pulled him in for a fierce, possessive and fiery kiss. “I don’t want to imagine it. I can’t imagine it.”

Khadgar laid his head back against Medivh’s shoulder, his arms tight around the other mage’s back. “You won’t have to. I swear I never will again.”

“We’ll see to that, hm?” Medivh stroked Khadgar’s hair again. “What are we using?” he asked softly.

“The cat,” Khadgar murmured. “The long one.” He shifted slightly, blushing. “The crop, after.”

“After?”

“Redden me,” Khadgar breathed. “Then sharpen it.”

“How hard?” Medivh murmured.

“Hard,” Khadgar replied. “I want marks across my skin. I want to remember when I try to sit down.”

“How many?”

“One for each time I … I actively _tried_ to end my life,” Khadgar whispered.

Medivh was quiet for a moment. “Which was?”

Khadgar shifted. Medivh cleared his throat. “Khadgar?”

“…Once, just after I… I killed you. Before I l-left Karazhan. Once, during the war, on the walls of Stormwind in her defense. Once, on the long trip to Lordaeron. Three times, as we followed the Horde north. Four times in Outland. Once in Northrend. Twice in Draenor.” He paused, and Medivh waited. “Twice before I … Before I returned here and found you again a-and…” He drew a long breath and let it out slowly. “Once after.”

Medivh was quiet for a long moment, his fingers still carding through Khadgar’s hair. “Oh, my Young Trust… Why…?”

Khadgar knew Medivh meant for the ‘once after’. “I … I didn’t feel worthy of… returning here. To you.”

“How?” Medivh whispered.

“I was drained,” Khadgar murmured. “And I… I kept going. I was needed, but I… I pushed. I thought perhaps if it… if it…”

“If it was too much you would just incandesce and that would be it,” Medivh said flatly. Khadgar nodded. “And you found yourself laying on your back and begging for death after.” Khadgar nodded again, pressing his face against Medivh’s neck. Medivh sighed, but said nothing, letting the trembling of his hand through Khadgar’s hair speak for him.

“So,” Medivh said after a few moments. “Sixteen.” Khadgar nodded. He pressed his lips to Khadgar’s forehead. “Sixteen times I could have lost you. Fifteen while I wasn’t here to stop you. Once where it would have destroyed my heart.” Khadgar’s breath hitched, and Medivh sighed again. “And?”

“I won’t try again.”

“Then let us go remind you. I will meet you when you are ready,” Medivh murmured, gently releasing Khadgar with a last kiss and rising from the bed, shrugging off the robe he wore and draping it at the foot of the bed.  He left the room, heading for the bathing room.

Khadgar remained where he was for a few moments, composing himself and bringing himself back to the present, then let his robe pool on the bed as he shrugged it off, moving it to lie beside Medivh’s and putting the handkerchief with it, expecting to need it by the time they returned here. By the time he reached the bathing room, Medivh had already left, but there was hot water waiting.

Refreshed and relieved, he looked into the mirror as he dried his face. Eyes far too old for the rest of his body looked back at him, and he sighed. He may look more his age now, but the eyes that had seen too much would haunt him forever.  He hung up his towel, and left the room, and once again left Archmage Khadgar, Leader of the Kirin Tor, Member of the Council of Six, Guardian of Azeroth behind.


	2. Chapter 2

II.

Khadgar’s wrists were bound in a pair of padded leather cuffs, in turned bound to a chain that hung from the ceiling. He faced the wall of pale grey stone, his feet set at shoulder width apart. He tried to brace, but found himself sway forward with the force the leather thongs struck between his shoulders. He counted to three and braced again, the resounding slap of leather against skin loud in his ears. He could start to feel the sting of the individual thongs now, but before he could speak, the next strike landed on his rear, making him jump, and scramble to reposition.

Medivh was silent as he struck, watching the skin along Khadgar’s rear and thighs redden as the flog landed. Most strokes were downward, though he hit thighs with upward swings, further throwing the other mage off balance.

His strikes were random now, rather than concentrating on any one area, as all three were turning very red. He was watching carefully, waiting for the signs that Khadgar had had enough.

Another stroke to the shoulders, and he saw the flinch, heard the noise of pain, and the next was aimed upwards at his thighs. Still a safe spot to strike, and the next landed on the left buttock, which elicited a sound, but no wince. One to the right, producing the flinch as well as sound. Another to the thighs. And another, and then one to the left buttock, eliciting the flinch.

Medivh concentrated on Khadgar’s thighs, each strike harder than the last until he got the flinch and cry he waited for. A last stroke to the shoulders, producing a strangled yelp, one to each buttock in rapid succession, and then another to each thigh.

He swung the flog, tapping the leather thongs against the reddened thighs and ass.

“You know why you are here, Young Trust.”

“Y-yes Master,” Khadgar murmured.

A sharp snap sounded and Khadgar cried out as Medivh hit him harder against both buttocks. “I can’t hear you.”

“Yes, Master!” Khadgar yelped.

“Why are you here, Young Trust?” Medivh asked, his tone even.

“B-because I t-t-t… attempted s-suicide, Master.” Khadgar’s tone was subdued, but loud enough to be heard over the light tapping.

“Why, Young Trust?” Medivh hissed.

“I wanted to die,” Khadgar grated out.

“Why?”

“I f-felt u-unworthy, Master.”

“Unworthy.” Another sharp snap and Khadgar yelped again. “Unworthy of what?”

Khadgar’s breath caught, and he could feel the tears spill over his cheeks as he answered. “Unworthy of l-life. Unworthy of the d-duty ch-charged me.” He paused, then added. “U-unw-worthy of y-you.”

Another sharp snap and Khadgar’s knees buckled. His arms strained as he pulled himself upright again. “You felt yourself unworthy, and so you tried to remove yourself from the situation.”

“Y-yes, M-m-master.”

There was a soft click as Medivh put the flog away and the sound of leather rustling against stone as it settled.  A moment later, there was a touch to heated flesh, smaller – the riding crop. “You know what that means.”

“Yes, Master,” Khadgar whispered, shivering.

Medivh ran the keeper along Khadgar’s rear, softly. The Archmage squirmed a little at the touch. “How many times have you tried – actually tried?” Medivh murmured.

“S-sixteen, Master.”

“Sixteen,” Medivh repeated softly, tapping the leather against Khadgar’s hip thoughtfully. “Are you ready to take the consequences?”

“Y-yes, Master,” Khadgar whispered. The leather struck his hip with a soft _smack_. “Yes, Master!” he yelped.

“Count them,” Medivh ordered, running the padded keeper along to Khadgar’s left buttock, still warmly red.

The first sounded, and Khadgar arched. “One!”

Medivh soothed the mark he left, then swapped to the right. The second came down twice as hard, hard enough to leave a visible welt. “Two!” The soothing motion was repeated, and Medivh took his time doing so.

The third came down against the back of Khadgar’s left thigh, sharply. “Three!” His voice was shaking, and his breathing hitched as it was soothed.

The fourth landed, not on the right thigh, where Khadgar had expected it, but right overtop the third. “F-four!” he wailed, squirming against the bonds over his head, his knees shaking.

Medivh soothed the welt, and took his time about it, running his fingertips over the abused flesh. “You’re taking this well,” he commented idly, running the crop along the inside of Khadgar’s thighs, brushing the soft leather against his balls. Khadgar could not answer other than a sharp gasp, and Medivh moved around to look at him from the front, coming into Khadgar’s vision. “A quarter of the way there, and you’re already shaking apart.” Khadgar whined softly. “You know why I’m doing this,” he murmured. “You know you need to be reminded.” He reached the crop out and hooked it into Khadgar’s collar, and yanked.

Khadgar stumbled forward a step, then scrambled to move back to where he had been. “Y-yes, M-master.”

Medivh’s emerald eyes met Khadgar’s silvered blue as Medivh stepped forward. “Why am I doing this?” he murmured, running the rod of the crop over Khadgar’s hip.

“To make sure I d-don’t t-try again. T-to end m-my life f-for no reason, Master.” Khadgar’s voice shook, but the words were even.

Medivh nodded, then stepped back and out of Khadgar’s sight again.  Without warning, he brought the crop down against Khadgar’s right thigh. Khadgar yelped, but managed to moan a weak “Five…” after. His breath hitched again as fingertips soothed the mark instead of the crop.

The next three landed in rapid succession, and though Khadgar’s voice counted each one, the last caused him to lose his footing as his knees buckled beneath him. Medivh wordlessly aided him back to his feet as he soothed the welt risen on his right buttock, almost white against the red.

He paused again, moving back to Khadgar’s front, letting him rest.  He slid the crop under Khadgar’s chin, lifting his head from where it rested against his chest. “Halfway,” he murmured, encouragingly. Medivh eyed the tear tracks marking Khadgar’s cheeks, noted the harsh breathing. On one hand he hated doing this. His eyes ran lower, and he had to carefully keep his own breathing even. The darker splatters shining on the stone floor were not all from tears, most of them centered between the Archmage’s feet.  “Still with me, Khadgar?” he asked softly.

Khadgar nodded, his breathing calming a little. “I’m a-all right, Medivh,” he murmured.

Medivh released his chin, trailing the crop down Khadgar’s chest. “Are you going to be able to take the second half, Young Trust? Or are you going to explode on me?”

Khadgar’s head lifted, and his darkened eyes met Medivh’s. “I c-can take it, Master. I need to be r-reminded. P-punished for my t-transgression.”

Medivh hummed softly, trailing the keeper along the underside of Khadgar’s straining shaft, watching it darken further with the touch.  “I will hold you to that,” he said, steel over velvet. “And you _will_ hold _that_.”

Khadgar gasped, and a blush stole across his cheeks. “Yes, Master.”

Medivh nodded and moved out of his sight again, his hand sliding along Khadgar’s side as he moved. It was a moment before he landed the next strike against Khadgar’s left thigh, and he winced as the welt already raised there reddened, then broke. “N-nine,” Khadgar whimpered.

Medivh swallowed, and the next one landed just above, leaving a welt on his left buttock. “T-t-ten.”

Medivh soothed it with gentle fingers, and found there weren’t places that had been left without welts. He opened his mouth, intending to call the whole thing off, then sighed silently. The next landed at a different angle, and Khadgar arched sharply, dancing away from Medivh before righting himself and screaming. “Eleven!”

Medivh reached out and traced the welts, ignoring the soft sobs that it prompted. The next landed on the right buttock, causing the welts there to break and bleed. The count was only half recognizable as it landed.

Medivh moved around to look at Khadgar again. He reached out and brushed away tears only to have them flow over his fingertips. “Khadgar – I…”

Khadgar shook his head, forcing himself upright again, his arms straining as his legs threatened to drop him to the ground. “I’m _fine_ Medivh,” he snarled, then looked up to meet Medivh’s eyes.

He was _not_ fine. The maelstrom of Khadgar’s eyes was born of pain, self-hatred and painful arousal. Medivh took a step forward. “You are not fine,” he murmured. “I cannot keep doing this. Not like this, Khadgar.” He waited, but Khadgar didn’t move, nor did he speak. “Khadgar,” Medivh started again.

“It is your decision if you want to take it, Medivh,” Khadgar said quietly, his voice hoarse from his earlier screams, but shockingly calm. “I know what it seems like.” He looked up at Medivh again, holding the emerald eyes with his own. “Finish it. I know I’m b-bleeding – and I t-told you I w-wanted that.”

“And in your mind, you are not thinking of your suicide attempts, are you?”

“I am. Every. Single. One. Of them. Every one that nearly stole this m-moment from us. _Finish it_ , Medivh.” His voice was broken again, punctuated by soft gasps that were the remnants of suppressed sobs.

“Very well.” Medivh moved around Khadgar again. “You’re nearly there, Young Trust,” he murmured, running the crop down Khadgar’s back through the redness between his shoulder blades.

Khadgar gasped, then writhed and screamed again as the next two strikes landed in rapid succession against his right thigh, which broke and bled. Medivh waited until they were counted in a broken voice. He did not wait for Khadgar to right himself, however. The next landed across both thighs, and Khadgar’s knees buckled again, and he didn’t seem able to right himself this time, the sharp snap of it seeming to have broken Khadgar entirely.

The only response vocally was a wail that sounded too unnatural to have come from Khadgar, and Medivh realized that it _had_.  His hand shot upwards toward the cuffs, releasing them and dropping the crop at the same time. He managed to catch Khadgar as he dropped to the floor and ignored the blood splatters as he pulled his former student against him. “Raven’s Flight! _Enough_ of this! _I can’t do this to you!_ ”

He had barely finished speaking when his lips were captured in a bruising kiss, and Medivh found himself on his back against the stone floor. “You’ve done enough,” Khadgar grated as he broke the kiss. His hands slid up along Medivh’s arms to curl around his wrists. “You just ended it before I could.” One leg slid between Medivh’s, and warm weight settled on the thigh Khadgar had trapped.

“You can’t possibly…”

“Can’t I? I saw where your eyes went,” Khadgar growled. “You know what it was doing to me. What _you_ do to me.” As he spoke, he began to grind against Medivh’s thigh insistently.

“Here isn’t the best place,” Medivh gasped. “We should move. You should let me take care of those wounds…”

Khadgar didn’t move to stand up. Instead, he slid his hands up Medivh’s arms to curl around his wrists. “I don’t care,” he breathed. “Let them bleed. I need you more.”

Medivh made a soft noise, lifting his thigh to press against Khadgar’s groin, rocking his muscles against it. “Take me, then,” he offered. “As I am – just…Ngh... just…”

“No time,” Khadgar hissed, his hips’ movement more insistent, shorter and only half controlled. “T-too close…”

“Then _don’t stop_ …” Medivh hissed, his own hips starting to move to counter Khadgar’s. “Come on…. Let it go… so you can.. so … so I can…” His hands balled into fists and he tried to fight Khadgar’s grip, failing to twist out of it.

Khadgar made a noise of utter desperation, leaning his full weight into every thrust. “Almost… Oh, Medivh –  I’m almost…”

Medivh longed to pull Khadgar closer, but settled for rocking his hips against the other mage’s, adding further friction as he continued subtly shifting his thigh muscles. “You’re there,” he whispered. “I don’t know how you’ve lasted this long… just… let… _go_!”

There were no words, just a stuttering moan and a tightening of hands around Medivh’s wrists as Khadgar tensed from shoulders to curled toes, then shuddered, his release spreading hot, thick lines up Medivh’s thigh and hip. He swayed a little as Medivh freed his wrists and reached up to steady his former student, ignoring the need pulsing insistently between his thighs. “Easy,” he murmured. “Be still… let yourself come down. Breathe, Khadgar. Just breathe.”

Khadgar whimpered softly, pulling himself back to sit on his legs, still straddling Medivh’s. The Magus moved with him, holding him and rubbing soothing circles on his back. “I… I need you,” Khadgar whispered. “ _Please_ , Medivh… I want you so much…”

“Shh… Just calm for a moment, and then I can get those marks cleaned and on their way to healing, and then we can do something about that, hm?” Medivh soothed, running a hand through Khadgar’s hair.

Khadgar shook his head. “Let th’m bleed. Make them remind me as you take me. Med, please.. I.. I…” He shifted his leg so he was straddling Medivh fully, rocking his hips in tiny motions against the older mage’s.

Medivh sighed, slowly. “We’re going to get you cleaned up _first_ ,” he said firmly, reaching down and stilling Khadgar’s movements. “Come on. Up you get.” Khadgar reluctantly shifted, pulling himself to his feet, watching Medivh closely as the older mage followed. “I did not mean for this to go so far,” he murmured with regret, tugging on Khadgar’s wrist to lead him out of the room. “If I had known you’d wanted an excuse for me to whip you to a bloodied mess I never would have agreed.”

Khadgar sighed. “I… I needed…”

“You needed a reminder – a reason to be punished? Like this? For this? No. You wanted me to _hurt_ you, Khadgar.” Medivh pushed open the door to the bathing room and gently pushed Khadgar through the door ahead of him. “And I know that you wouldn’t trust anyone else to do so and not cause you serious injury – and I understand that, but… Not like this, love.”  Khadgar sighed, shaking his head as he watched Medivh draw a hot bath. “Let’s get a good look at them, then. Over the counter.”

Khadgar sighed again, moving to bend over the countertop by the mirror. “I still—“

“I have no intention of letting your needs go untended, don’t worry,” Medivh murmured, running his fingers over the worst of the welts. “I… I _never_ should have let myself go so far,” he hissed, his disgust clearly aimed at himself.  “Stay put.”

There was the sound of a creaky cabinet opening, bottles shifting, and then a cool but stinging sensation descended on the welts as a bit of gauze was applied, dampened with something. “Ah—“

“Shh.. I know it stings. It’ll kill infection and clean out any dust that got in there. I’m going to do them all, so just be still.” Medivh was true to his word, cleaning the wounds and then moving away. The sound of running water stopped. “I’m no healer,” he lamented, running his fingertips over the welts again. “But these should close in a matter of moments; most of it is blistering, and not actual cuts.” He applied the salve again, dabbing gently so as to cause minimal pain.

“Med… I’m sorry,” Khadgar said after several long moments. “I… I shouldn’t have asked you to go as far as you did, when I knew… this would be the result.”

“I don’t like hurting you, Khadgar.”

“I know.” Medivh let the salve sink into Khadgar’s skin, and waited until the wounds began to close. Khadgar sighed as the silence stretched into something less comfortable. “I… I wish I could say I would take back the request—“

“No, Khadgar. We’ve had this discussion. If you are going to do what you need to do, you need this – it’s why you come to me. Is it not?” Medivh ran his fingers over the wounds, then gently prodded Khadgar to stand up and nudged him toward the waiting tub.

Khadgar shook his head as he stepped into the water, hissing as he settled and the hot water brushed against his still reddened skin. “I come to you for far more than just … our Game.” He absently started washing as he spoke. “I come here because here, I am little more than a man, loved.”

“You have quite a few who are very fond of you,” Medivh began, but Khadgar shook his head.

“Fond, yes. Those who are willing to fight for me, my cause, and their own home. They see me as their protector, the leader, the Guardian. They do not see me as you do – as I once did you – as a mere mortal with mortal wishes and desires and needs. They protect me out of respect, and because they need me.” Khadgar ducked his head and washed his hair in silence, ducking again to rinse it before he spoke again. “I saw you as my mentor, my teacher, and as time went on, I fell in love along the way. You were, of course, the Guardian – Grand Magus Medivh, the Most Powerful Mage On The Face Of Azeroth. But I saw behind it, remember?”

Medivh chuckled, and held out a towel to his former student as the tub drained and the Archmage stepped out before drawing a second bath. “I do. You were rather indignant at the time that so many made demands of me without thinking that I might just be an exceptionally powerful mortal man.”

Khadgar wrapped the towel around his hips. “Exactly. They made demands of the Guardian. Not a single one of them thought of the man they were making demands of, the time it might take, or if you perhaps were in the middle of other things that could not wait for their petty requests.” He winced as Medivh paused, one leg over the tub. “I’m sorry… I… I just. That was unwarranted.”

Medivh shook his head and settled into the water with a sigh. “No, it was honest; just as honest as you were when you were younger. Did you forget that is one of the things I love you for?” He reached for soap with one hand as he spoke, the other tugging the ribbon holding his hair back out.

Khadgar reached for the ribbon, taking it from Medivh and toying with it in his hands. “I did. Though I’m not sure how I can smile and not be honest day in and day out the way I do.” He draped the ribbon on the chair by the tub and wrapped his towel around his waist, eying the chair before settling, gently, onto it, wincing.

“You do what you must. I know it hurts. Again, that’s why you’re here.” Medivh ducked his head, and pushed his hair back out of his face as he washed it. “Besides, one day, if you don’t smile, you’ll have a team of Healers trying to find out why.”

Khadgar groaned. “It’s hard keeping up the façade sometimes, though,” he sighed.

Medivh ducked his head to rinse it before starting to run soap over his skin. “Come see me more often,” he suggested softly.

“If I could get away, I would. If I’m gone longer than I am, it will be suspicious.” Khadgar shrugged, running his hands through his hair and slicking it back. It stuck up anyway.

“Let them be.” Medivh paused, running lather along his leg. “Your well-being is far more important. You _must_ take care of yourself.” He let his leg back down, then arched to wash more sensitive areas. “Take two or three days and sequester yourself here with me. Just to relax yourself.” He lowered himself back into the tub and sighed. “Before you do something rash, or something happens that tips you over an edge.” He set the soap back down, cupped water into his face, and over his arms.

“I can’t afford to—“

“You can’t afford _not_ to.”

They stared at each other. Khadgar dropped his eyes. “I’ll see what I can arrange.”

Medivh nodded, reaching for the drain plug. “Good.” He rose, carefully, and Khadgar held out a towel for him, also rising to his feet. “Now that we are clean, your wounds tended, I think it’s time you were rewarded for your behavior, even though I did have to tap out of the Game.”

Khadgar shook his head. “You had to tap out because of me. I don’t think either of us has ever had to call a dead stop before. I don’t think either of us have even used a safeword since we began.”

Medivh looked at him from under the towel as he dried his hair. “Does it matter?” He softened his tone before continuing, “things happen, Khadgar.” He wrapped the towel around his waist and ran his fingers through his hair. Khadgar offered him back the ribbon, and Medivh took it, but did not bind his hair back. “Come on.”

They returned to Medivh’s room, and Medivh gently pushed Khadgar towards the bed, taking his towel from him and draping it on a chair. “Either sit there or lie down. Stay. Close your eyes.”

Khadgar raised an eyebrow. “O-okay… shouldn’t we be in the other room for this?”

“No. I am not ordering you. This has nothing to do with the Game. Let me spoil you a little,” Medivh chuckled.

Khadgar settled himself comfortably, tucking a leg beneath him. “All right.” He closed his eyes, and heard Medivh’s soft footsteps as he left the room.

It wasn’t long before he heard the footsteps returning. He heard something being set down on the bedside table; something that clinked softly. The sound of something being poured into two vessels followed, and the sound of a knife sliding through something. A sharp, sweet smell reached Khadgar’s nose, and he longed to open his eyes and confirm what he thought he scented on the air.

A finger brushed his lips, damp with something. Instinctively, his tongue darted out to clear it, and he moaned softly. His nose was correct; Medivh had found sunfruit. _Fresh_ sunfruit, not conjured. The finger returned, brushing his bottom lip, tugging it a little. Obediently, Khadgar opened his mouth, and found a bit of sunfruit settled onto his tongue. The finger tapped his chin, and he closed his mouth, letting the bite rest where it was before pressing it up against the roof of his mouth, letting the bit drain against his tongue, savoring the sweetness of it.

There were a few things Khadgar was unable to resist, and while most were common, sunfruit was rare. He wouldn’t exactly sell his soul for it, but… it was a near thing. He found they were more common in Pandaria, but they did not travel very well and he had not been to Pandaria in some time. How Medivh had managed to get one, he had no idea. But it was certainly a sign.

“You can open your eyes now,” Medivh murmured, amused.

Khadgar blushed a little, swallowing as he opened his eyes. “How…?” Medivh said nothing, but handed him a small bowl of cut sunfruit topped with cream with a very satisfied look. Khadgar accepted it, a look of open worship on his face. Whether it was for Medivh or the fruit, Medivh couldn’t tell.

“I have my ways,” the Magus replied, settling beside his lover with a bowl of his own. “I know how fond you are of it, and how difficult it is to get here.” He gently rolled a bite of the fruit in the cream with his spoon as he watched Khadgar do the same, and the look of bliss as he took the first bite was reward enough for his efforts. He smiled, and tried to ignore the little (rather indecent) moans Khadgar uttered as they worked their way through the treat.

Once the bowls were empty, Medivh set them aside, and passed Khadgar a glass of a pale gold liquid with a smile. Khadgar blinked at it, then looked up at Medivh. “This can’t be…” Medivh lifted an eyebrow. Khadgar sipped. It was. “You… I don’t even know… I don’t want to know how you managed to not only find fresh sunfruit, but also find cider.”

“I have my ways,” Medivh repeated softly. “Careful though – I was informed that this batch is particularly potent,” he smiled as he sipped from his own glass. His eyes went wide. It _was_ rather potent, and he wondered if it hadn’t been blended with honey-mead.

“You have… intentions for me,” Khadgar accused, amused.

“Of course I do. You’re smiling. That cider should knock your nerves down a little, especially after our games. And besides, you informed me you’re still not quite done for the evening, hm?” Medivh sipped from his glass again.

Khadgar blushed. “And that’s not even counting how patient you’ve been,” he said softly, chagrined.

“You should know by now that making you happy makes me happy. And waiting is always worth it,” Medivh countered, sliding his free hand into Khadgar’s. “And I intend to make the wait worth it.”

Khadgar’s blush deepened as he sipped his cider again. “Oh?” he asked softly.

Medivh nodded. “Some of that depends on you, but yes, I do. I had planned on this from early on, after all.”

Khadgar raised an eyebrow. “Even before I asked you to whip me until I bled?”

“Even before you arrived here this evening. As soon as I got your message. It occurred to me that it has been some time since we were able to… draw out an evening.” Medivh brushed his lips against Khadgar’s cheek. “I plan on making sure you’re well rested, yes, but I certainly have not planned on fucking you tonight.”

Khadgar blinked. “I… but…”

Medivh leaned closer to murmur his next words against Khadgar’s ear. “I plan to go slowly, and make love to you properly.” He chuckled as Khadgar nearly choked on his cider.

“You what?” Khadgar asked once he’d managed to swallow.

“You heard me,” Medivh chuckled softly as he sipped from his glass. “I intend to set every nerve on fire, and even then, I refuse to rush anything. By the time I’m done with you, you will be a completely boneless heap, and will have the best sleep so you will be well rested for when you return to the insanity.” He sipped again, eyed his glass, then drained the last of it, setting the glass aside. “But I am serious – extended stay the next time you’re here. You need the rest.”

Khadgar blushed, covering it with another long drink from his own glass. “I probably won’t manage to get away again until we’ve done something about the Tomb… and if I make it back from that—“

“Don’t speak like that,” Medivh snapped, though his voice was quiet. “You will make it back.”

“… When we return from that, I should be able to take that extended time away. I hope.” Khadgar drained his glass and reached to set it beside Medivh’s.

Before he could speak again, Medivh had pulled him into a deep kiss. “Enough,” he murmured. “The only words I want to hear from you for the rest of the evening will have nothing to do with the Legion, Dalaran, the Kirin Tor, the Tirisgarde, or anything else to do with working. I would much rather hear my name, or protests of what I’m doing, or that beautiful cry you utter when I’ve aroused you to mindlessness.”

“Yes, Master,” Khadgar murmured, impudently. Medivh prodded his shoulder. “I mean, Medivh.”

“Better.” Medivh slid off the bed. “Lie back, Young Trust, and turn over.”

Khadgar looked at Medivh with confusion for a moment, then did as he was asked. He heard a vial being unstoppered and nearly looked back up, but remained where he was. “Stretch out,” he heard, and did so. “Relax.” He tried, but failed.  And then he felt hands, damp with oil, brush against his back. He closed his eyes and sighed.

Medivh smiled, working the massage oil into Khadgar’s skin carefully before digging the heels of his palms into knotted muscles. The scent of Mageroyal drifted to his nose, and he felt Khadgar twitch. “Mageroyal, Medivh?” he murmured.

“Of course. No harm in priming you, hm?” Medivh replied, amused. Khadgar moaned softly.

“You intended to seduce me, in every way possible.”

“I told you I wanted to spoil you, did I not? So let me. _Someone_ should.” Medivh worked his way up from the small of Khadgar’s back into the area below his shoulder blades, then back down, pausing at every moan to work out knots and sooth them away.

Khadgar sniffled softly. He didn’t feel he deserved this, and his heart ached at the thought that despite earlier, he was now being treated as though he deserved pampering. “I love you, Medivh,” he murmured quietly.

Medivh pressed a kiss to the back of Khadgar’s neck as he worked. “I love you too, Khadgar. Just relax, and let me work.” Khadgar nodded and sighed again. Medivh continued to work upwards to Khadgar’s shoulders, then back down, pausing to work knots out and then soothingly stroke them away.

Khadgar’s muscles started to get the idea, and finally began to relax as Medivh worked over them repeatedly. His thumbs worked into Khadgar’s neck, drawing a low moan from the younger mage. A headache that Khadgar had not realized he’d had suddenly ceased, and the relief was enough to melt him further. His shoulder came unknotted. His back started to settle.

Medivh’s hands moved lower, drawing the tension out of his rear, down his thighs, calves and down to his feet, where his careful fingers worked knots from places Khadgar didn’t know knots could form. “You know, you really should see a healer on occasion, to have this done.”

“Why?” Khadgar murmured back, lazily. “I would only leave a ball of tension as I’d come in, because they’d try to fix more than this. They’d want me to talk. I don’t need to talk to you – you understand it all.”

Medivh grunted in acknowledgement, and grudging agreement. “True. Well then, perhaps I’ll add this to our visits from now on.” He tugged at one of Khadgar’s toes, and blinked as Khadgar giggled, his foot kicking away. “Right. Sorry.” He worked back upwards, then back down at least twice more before he was satisfied. “Turn over,” he murmured softly.

Khadgar complied, looking up at Medivh with an expression that was almost worshipful as he resettled. Medivh blushed at the look, applying more of the oil to his hands and warming it before working it into Khadgar’s chest, carefully avoiding the claw marks and the bubbled and burned scar from a long-ago battle. He worked along his chest and then up to his left arm, working the tension along it into Khadgar’s hand, which he then concentrated on.

Khadgar moaned softly as knots were eased from his palm, his fingers and even his fingertips; tension that he had no idea was even there, and that he had no idea could build that badly. Medivh chuckled. “Surprised?” At Khadgar’s nod, he smiled. “Scribes and mages both often dismiss cramps once they’ve stopped hurting, but there is always an underlying tension that remains.” His smile turned sad. “Moroes used to do this for me. Usually after I’d had some kind of outburst. He seemed to realize that my hands were causing me pain before I did, and … well. From the way you’re reacting, I’m sorry I neglected to tell you. I’m quite shocked, considering you live in a city full of mages, that no one has ever offered this, or said anything about it.”

Khadgar sighed as Medivh worked his thumbs into his palm. “Perhaps it’s one of those things no one mentions. Kind of like no one mentions the times that students set their rooms on fire, or blast some of the furniture into nothing when they. Er.”

“Experiment on themselves?” Medivh finished slyly, gently putting Khadgar’s hand down and working his way back up along his arm to cross to his right.

“Something like that, yes.” Khadgar chuckled. “We just take them aside and assure them that it happens, and offer advice on how to keep it from getting too destructive.”

“Which is then ignored once they’re old enough, and they wind up doing something like… oh, nearly destroying Karazhan, themselves and the fabric of reality?”

Khadgar snorted. “I don’t think either of us expected what happened – and we still have no idea what we even _did_ that night.”

Medivh paused as he dug his thumbs into Khadgar’s palm. “I think I might. Karazhan is stable, and beginning to slowly return to its original state. My original chambers are… present again. Not that I intend to return to them any time soon, but…”

Khadgar nodded, slowly. “I understand. Though I thought that’s what would eventually happen if the connections to the Twisting Nether were shut down.”

“Mmm…” Medivh shrugged, running his fingers along Khadgar’s wrist. “Maybe, maybe not. Either way… The tower may eventually return to its … original state. Before you and I ever met, when it wasn’t as… cold. Unfeeling. Before my mental state twisted it into insanity and darkness.” He tugged at Khadgar’s fingers, pulling tension through each one before returning to the palm. “If that is the case, then… the place may be much more pleasant.”

“The library is going to need cleaning again,” Khadgar sighed, his eyes amused.

“I’ll have to find a potential apprentice to do something about that,” Medivh mused, stretching Khadgar’s palm between his hands and running his thumbs along the heel of his hand. “Someone impudent, impetuous, confident, intelligent, headstrong, overachieving, and stubborn to a fault, perhaps.”

Khadgar chuckled. “Sounds familiar. I’m sure you’ll find exactly who you need.”

Medivh kissed Khadgar’s palm. “No doubt,” he said softly. “And once the library is organized again, I can take that apprentice to my bed, and spoil him.”

Khadgar blushed. “I –“

Medivh shushed him with a finger against his lips, kissing the inside of Khadgar’s wrist, then the inside of his elbow. Khadgar closed his eyes, shivering slightly. “Enough talking,” Medivh murmured, leaning to touch his lips to Khadgar’s. “There are more important things that should be coming out of your mouth than work talk.” He kissed down the younger mage’s throat, chuckling as Khadgar’s head lifted and offered more space. His hands traced nonsense along shoulders and chest, followed by soft kisses.

Medivh’s lips and fingers found sensitive spots and exploited them fully, a brush of fingertip here, a light scrape of nail there, a nip following the ghosting of lips. He worked his way down Khadgar’s body, smiling wickedly at the way his apprentice’s hands curled into the fabric beneath them, twined in the comforter white-knuckled and trembling. “Let me hear you,” he murmured against the skin of his hip. “That Mageroyal must be working by now, hm?”

Khadgar sighed sharply, the barest hint of a moan slipping past. “Medivh,” he murmured. “I…” Medivh chuckled, biting at the top of one thigh and drawing a yelp.

“This isn’t part of the Game. You are allowed to retaliate, remember…” Medivh reminded him.

“When you turn my mind to mush like this? You want me to do more than ju—Ah!” Khadgar yelped again as the other thigh was nipped, then soothed with a swipe of Medivh’s tongue. The Mageroyal was indeed doing its job; he was half-hard already.

“Than just feel? Fair.” Medivh leaned up, running his tongue along Khadgar’s tip, teasing his former apprentice into full hardness – and drawing a darker moan, and a soft curse in the process. “Light, the things you do to me,” he murmured, nipping at the skin of Khadgar’s stomach. “You make me want to throw my intentions out the window…”

“Why don’t you?” Khadgar shot back, breathless.

“Don’t tempt me,” Medivh hissed, biting down on one nipple sharply and shuddering at Khadgar’s cry. “Oh, don’t tempt me.” He leaned to bite the other, then looked up to admire his work. Khadgar’s eyes were as dark as twilight, already glowing faintly. The little marks against his skin where Medivh had bitten were reddening beautifully. His chest rose and fell rapidly, though evenly. His cock twitched with impatience, his essence beading at the tip.

With a smirk, Medivh traced a fingertip along Khadgar’s shaft, as though aiming to swipe the bead away, but leaned to do so with his tongue at the last moment. He couldn’t help the chuckle at the noise his former apprentice made – something between a choked gasp and a half-cry. He ignored the moan of his name as he slid his lips over the head, sucking gently. He ignored the hands that settled in his hair as he took the younger mage in, inch by inch, his hands holding Khadgar’s hips firmly down to keep him from moving.

Khadgar tugged sharply first with one hand, then both. “Med – I can’t take this… not after…” He tried to arch, and moaned sharply when he found he couldn’t. “ _Please,_ Med…”

With a parting swipe, Medivh pulled off, taking pity on his poor captive. He looked up at Khadgar, his eyes the odd combination of storm-green and luminescent violet. “You realize,” he murmured, his voice calm, “that you are driving me mad.”

“And you’re doing any better to me?” Khadgar gasped back. Medivh chuckled, leaned and nipped at a slightly red mark on his hip, eliciting another gasp. Khadgar tugged at Medivh’s hair again, pulling the older mage up.

Curious, Medivh followed the insistent tug and found himself pulled into a bruising kiss, one he made a startled cry into when he felt one of Khadgar’s legs wrap around his waist, hooking over his hip. When Khadgar let him go, his eyes were a little brighter, and there was a hard, determined look in them. “One of us had to break eventually, and after what you’ve done to me tonight…”

Without a word, Medivh fumbled for the drawer in the bedside table, managing to pull a vial from it. He leaned up, freeing himself from Khadgar’s grasp, and put the vial in his hand. “You first, then,” he murmured. “Take your time, and promise me you’ll be ready to return it.”

Khadgar flushed, his eyes widening a little. He opened his mouth to say something, shook his head, closed it, and pulled the stopper from the vial. He was careful as he worked the lubricant along Medivh’s cock, twice, before handing the vial back.

Clenching his jaw, Medivh took the vial and took his time working Khadgar open. It took much less effort than he expected, and he lifted an eyebrow at the younger mage as he realized his hips were shifting, minutely. When he looked up, he couldn’t stop the soft moan; Khadgar was apparently waiting for him to look up, stroking himself, and vibrant azure met pale violet. Medivh shuddered. “You’re doing that on purpose,” he hissed.

“Guilty as charged,” Khadgar breathed back, his eyes narrowing very slightly, his lips lifting in a smirk.

Medivh growled something unintelligible and curled his fingers, stroking against Khadgar’s prostate and earning a sharp gasp and an arch, followed by a shuddery moan. He smirked right back.

That smirk vanished, replaced with an expression of shocked pleasure as Medivh withdrew his hand, running his fingertips along Khadgar’s balls and squeezed his shaft. “Med – please… stop teasing me… You’ve waited long enough.”

Medivh closed his eyes, shivering at the words. He had been patient, and beyond patient. He’d wanted, badly, to turn Khadgar into a trembling mass of need before he did anything more, but…

His plans shifted. He sent the vial to settle safely beside their glasses before he struck. His hands slid up Khadgar’s arms to his wrists, putting them over his head. “You are infuriating,” he murmured. “I intended to drive you to mindlessness before I did anything at all. However…” He settled his hips between Khadgar’s thighs, and despite Khadgar’s knees lifting, Medivh didn’t position to enter him, but did settle himself to grind against the younger mage.

Khadgar moaned in protest.

“I _had_ wanted you to go first. But. Since _you_ decided against it…” Medivh murmured, drawing back. “I’m going to take steps to make sure you get your chance.” Before Khadgar could protest, he ran his finger along Khadgar’s cock, a band of arcane settling firmly at the base, then another just under the head. He ran his fingertip along the younger mage’s balls, and another band bound them as well.  He chuckled as Khadgar whined his protest wordlessly.

“Get _on with it_ then!” Khadgar hissed.

Medivh silenced him with a searing kiss, taking the opportunity to position himself. He gave a surprised gasp as Khadgar’s ankles pressed against his back insistently, knocking him off balance just enough that he sank into the younger mage with a little less control than he’d have liked.

Khadgar dropped his arms and wrapped them firmly around Medivh’s shoulders, pulling him further off balance. “If you don’t start moving,” he hissed against Medivh’s ear, “I’m going to go mad.”

“Maybe I’ll just…” Medivh trailed off thoughtfully, settled himself so he was more stable, then rolled his hips experimentally. Khadgar hissed. Medivh shifted and tried again. On the third try, Khadgar arched sharply. Medivh growled softly, then rocked against that spot, just enough to offer a tiny bit of steady friction. It was driving him mad, but the glow in Khadgar’s eyes and the way he keened was _so_ worth it. “… rest right here… until you’re as mindless as I’d wanted,” he finished his earlier thought.

Khadgar’s response, however, was not what Medivh expected. Hands tangled in his hair and Khadgar pulled his head down for another searing kiss, one that was utterly demanding, and Medivh submitted as quickly as his lover during their games. He also submitted to the insistent movements of the hips below him.

Medivh pulled back from the kiss just long enough to murmur “Have I broken you at last?” against the younger mage’s lips. The half-growled, half-snarled “shut up and fuck me” he got in response made him chuckle, but he complied with the demand readily enough.

Khadgar’s hands tightened on Medivh’s hair as he arched, and he bit down on the older mage’s earlobe hard enough to draw blood. As his tongue ran soothingly over it, he felt Medivh’s thrusts sharpen, the rhythm falling to pieces. “Who has broken who?” he hissed against the skin just before it lifted. Khadgar watched as Medivh leaned back, the violet glow in them more pronounced than it had been. He couldn’t help the smirk; Medivh loved trying to break him, but oh it was so utterly worth it when it happened in reverse instead.

Medivh’s hands lifted and he paused, making a strangled sort of whimper as he did. The glare he leveled at Khadgar for the smirk only served to increase the heat between them. He hooked Khadgar’s knees with his elbows and leaned forward again, a look of wicked promise in his eyes and across his lips. He planted his hands just above Khadgar’s shoulders, feeling the younger mage shift his body to compensate, which only served to drive him deeper.

Khadgar’s cry was music to Medivh’s ears, even as he leaned just enough to let his eyes rake down his former apprentice’s body, smiling smugly at the way his cock strained against its bonds, weeping steadily from the tip as the shaft throbbed visibly, even at this angle.  His thrusts resumed, hard and sharp snaps of his hips as he finally gave in and sought release in earnest.

Tormenting Khadgar all day had taken its toll, and when he gave in, Medivh knew it wouldn’t be long. Not when he could feel the slickness against his own belly, the way Khadgar’s toes curled even as he was denied. “Now you know,” he hissed against Khadgar’s bloodied ear, “what our games do to me. What _you_ do to me…” He hissed as he felt the warnings, and he leaned up to catch Khadgar’s eyes, his own glowing fiercely enough that he could see their reflection in the azure glow of Khadgar’s, could see the violet hue against his lover’s cheeks.

Medivh contemplated slowing down, but the warnings were already past. There was no going back. “Khadgar,” he moaned softly, his eyes narrowing slightly, and it took effort to keep them open. “Oh, Light – Khadgar I’m… It’s.. Oh _Light_ …” He could feel his back arching; felt, rather than heard, Khadgar’s encouragements. But the day had been long.

Too long.

“ _Khadgar_ – oh, Light – I.. I’m going to – t-to… _K-Khadgar_!” Medivh couldn’t tell if he kept his eyes open or not. He shuddered, coming hard enough to draw wordless cries on every sharp exhale, hard enough that he couldn’t tell where the aftershocks ended or began, hard enough that when he was spent, he swayed, his vision going white… then grey… then black.

Khadgar clung to Medivh as his lover collapsed against him, gently freeing his legs and moving Medivh’s arms into a better position, and waited with as much patience as he could muster. He declined going first for this very reason; Medivh had a horrible habit of ignoring his body’s demands sometimes. And as much as _he_ was the one who was supposed to be spoiled, Khadgar had plans for his former master once he was free.

If he could pull it off; he blushed as Medivh moaned and shifted his weight, waking from his euphoric stupor. Khadgar had nearly – _very_ nearly – managed to come despite the bindings. For now, he gently ran one hand through Medivh’s hair, the other stroking his back.

Medivh blinked, slowly, then lifted himself up a little, just enough to slide free and resettle beside Khadgar, one arm curled over his chest, the other raising over his head. “Light… I…”

“Are you all right?” Khadgar murmured, his voice slightly breathless.

“Yes.” Medivh leaned to touch his lips to Khadgar’s throat. “I’m sorry about your ear.”

Khadgar chuckled warmly. “No worse than what I will likely do to you. The bindings almost weren’t enough to hold me back.” He grinned as he saw the glow return and intensify in Medivh’s eyes, and felt renewed interest against his hip. “That was quick…”

Medivh leveled a _look_ at his former apprentice. “You do things to me. I told you.” He stretched a little, his half-hard cock rubbing against Khadgar’s hip. He rocked his hips, languidly, against it, moaning softly. “Give me a moment, and I’ll free you… and then you can carry out those ‘likely’ things.”

Khadgar shifted enough to slide his thigh into place between Medivh’s, flexing the muscles in time with the older mage’s movements. “I hope it’s a short ‘moment’… or I’m going to explode,” he murmured heatedly against Medivh’s neck.

With a moan, Medivh stilled himself, reaching down to retrace the slow stroke that had put the bindings in place.

Khadgar gasped. “Oh Light I’m not sure I’m… I’m…”

Medivh reached for the vial and put it in Khadgar’s hand. “Do what you can,” he hissed. “I’m not going to need much to take you right now.”

Khadgar took the vial with trembling fingers, grateful that it was not full. “On your back then,” he murmured, then moved out of the way. As Medivh settled, he tipped the vial and coated his fingers. He wanted to take his time; he wanted to torment Medivh as his master had done to him, but he couldn’t. He was barely able to get a third finger in before his body became insistent that he do _something_ and do it right _now_. He barely managed to put the vial back on the table before he settled himself between Medivh’s legs.

Without prompting, Medivh hooked his ankles around Khadgar’s back, knowing now was no time to be coy with his apprentice. “Don’t hold back,” he murmured. “I know how close you are.”

Khadgar shuddered as he positioned and tried to go slowly. It was no use. With a sharp moan, he hilted himself in one thrust. He settled his hands on Medivh’s shoulders, and took his lover’s advice. He did have the presence of mind to shift his angle until he felt Medivh’s legs tighten around him, and threw him a smirk before leaning down to kiss him – silencing a throaty moan in the process.

Khadgar’s thrusts were sharp and frantic, and he rose on his hands again so he had enough leverage. He was closer than he thought, but he was determined to take Medivh with him when he succumbed. One hand slid between them, and he tried to keep his hand’s movement in time with his thrusts, but there was no way; both were quick and artless.

Not that it mattered. Medivh’s hands were twined in the pillow under his head, which was tilted back, his eyes slits of violet as he watched Khadgar falling apart above him. He was close, and didn’t care if he had to finish it himself as he felt Khadgar’s will breaking.

“Medivh – I’m… I’m sorry I can’t… Oh Light I can’t…” Khadgar shuddered. “I’m coming,” he hissed. “Oh _fuck_ I’m… I’m _coming,_ Medivh I… Medivh – _Medivh_!” His words started as soft moaning, but he arched back, his hand stilling and tightening around his lover’s cock as he screamed his name, unable to hold back any longer.

Medivh was right behind him, his quieter cry of Khadgar’s name lost entirely in the younger mage’s scream. His arms lifted and caught Khadgar as he collapsed, lowering him tenderly into his embrace, settling the silver-haired head against his shoulder.

For a while there was quiet other than the sound of their breathing, sharp and quick pants, forced slower breaths, and the occasional sigh as they managed to pull themselves back into reality.

Reality was… messy.

Khadgar lifted his head, and managed to shift enough to kiss Medivh; it was a deep kiss, from the heart this time instead of his loins. They broke apart with a satisfied sigh, and Khadgar shifted enough to withdraw, curling up beside his lover, their arms around the other, their legs entangled, Khadgar’s head resting on Medivh’s shoulder. Neither spoke. There was no need. They stayed that way for a long while – long enough for their eyes to return to normal – before the silence was broken.

“If you get a basin and warm water, I’ll um.. change the bedding,” Medivh murmured.

Khadgar laughed softly. “Deal.” He groaned as he disentangled himself and got to his feet, wobbling a little as he headed for the bathing room.

Medivh grunted as he levered himself into a sitting position, closing his eyes for a moment so he wouldn’t fall over again. He changed the comforter, put the vial back into the drawer, and filled the glasses from the pitcher again. He was eyeing the bed and wondering exactly how this was going to work, and thinking he hadn’t thought this through when Khadgar returned.

His hands were empty, but he had an amused look on his face. “I see you ran into the same problem I came up with while I was filling the basin.”

“Uh huh. It’s all right. There are some things you can’t do for me anyway.” Medivh replied, still frowning at the freshly made bed.

“I thought of that too.”

Medivh sighed. Khadgar chuckled, then leaned to kiss Medivh’s cheek. “Go on.”

Medivh reached up and caressed Khadgar’s cheek, then headed for the facilities. Khadgar turned the bedding down, then gathered the bowls and knife onto the tray with the sunfruit peel and left the pitcher and glasses behind as he took it downstairs.

When he returned Medivh was sitting on the bed, glass of cider in hand, looking very satisfied. Khadgar joined him, picking up the other glass. He leaned against Medivh’s side. “Thank you,” he murmured. “It’s never enough just to say it, but… honestly. Without you, I could never do what I do.”

Medivh curled his arm around Khadgar, kissing the top of the silver hair. “I know. A Guardian doesn’t need restrictions and oaths and ceremony and whatever else it’s meant to have. I was lonely, even with all of the things I’d… I mean… Until you came along, no matter how many people were here with me, I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, with … him. You have no such affliction, but… you were lonely.”

Khadgar sighed, and sipped from his glass. “I was. I’m not now.”

Medivh smiled. “I am glad to have you back, Young Trust.”

Khadgar drained his glass, then set it on the table. “I wish I had found you sooner.”

“Everything must happen in its own time.” Medivh finished his cider and set his glass beside Khadgar’s. He lay back, tugging Khadgar to lay with him, and gestured. The lights lowered enough that moonlight flooded in from the room’s window.

Khadgar snuggled himself against Medivh’s side and sighed deeply. “I know. I just… I wish our grains had crossed sooner.”

Medivh kissed Khadgar’s forehead. “I know, and I… I do sometimes with they had as well. But you were sent to me when I needed you most. And now I am here when you need me most. And I will always be here.”

Khadgar closed his eyes. “I’m glad,” he murmured, his voice sleepy. “Because I always need you.”

Medivh gave a tired chuckle. “Sleep, Khadgar, and sleep well. Morning brings new trials.”

Khadgar didn’t reply; his breathing was slow and even, his face had lost its tension, and Medivh’s heart ached to see just how many years it stripped from the younger man’s apparent age.

If nothing else, Medivh could give him these moments of peace. He closed his eyes, pulling Khadgar a little closer as he drifted off.

Morning would come far too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have read, and thank you all for your patience until I could get the second half finished!


End file.
